5 Signs Your Thought Patterns Are Working Against You

Your mind is so powerful

What if I told you that by changing your thought patterns you could immediately improve your quality of life? You see, the emotions you feel are created by the stories you play in your head and by what you focus on when you look at your reality. Over the years, you may have developed habits that cause you unnecessary suffering. The good news is that it is preventable! Step one is becoming aware of the problem, so ask yourself if you have a tendency to exhibit any of the following five disempowering patterns.

1.     You worry a lot

You take pride in being proactive and making good decisions. You have trained your mind to think about what could go wrong because you want to prevent problems. While the initial intention was good, your thought patterns are causing you to worry a lot. You feel stress and even anxiety about things that haven’t happen and most likely will never happen. Worrying stops you from enjoying your life to the fullest. You spend a lot of time imagining problems that don’t even exist.

Instead, remind yourself of your strength and ability to handle life’s challenges. Even if something unwanted happens, it won’t be the end of the world and you will get through it. Once you trust in yourself more and you have a more positive outlook on life, it will be easier to stop worrying compulsively. Acknowledge that there are good people around you who want to help you. There are wonderful opportunities waiting to be seized. Expect good things to happen. Let yourself fantasize about the best case scenario rather than the worst. You can use your thoughts to feel good right now.  

2.     You seek safety and predictability above all else

The decisions you make tend to be driven by your need to avoid what you fear. If you are afraid of failure, you avoid risky endeavors. If you are afraid of conflict, you let people disrespect you because you don’t know how to stand up for yourself. If you are afraid of the unknown, you miss out on many opportunities because when the outcomes are unpredictable, you say no to new experiences. Essentially, you don’t want to risk being wrong, having regrets about doing something, or putting yourself in an uncomfortable position. And you are missing out!

Instead, realize that most fears are irrational and taking some calculated risks would make your life richer. Fear is meant to stop you from doing something dangerous like jumping off a cliff, but fear brings no value to most opportunities. How much real danger is involved in public speaking, or looking for a new job, or asking someone for a favor? None. Understand that things that are unpredictable are not necessarily dangerous. They only require you to take a chance but they can’t hurt you. Start embracing the unknown. Value learning and personal growth more than staying confined to your comfort zone. I promise it will be worth it.

3.     You tend to blame yourself and others

When something unwanted happens, you focus your attention on the cause and blame yourself or blame other people. Somehow, being critical and judgmental seems like the normal way to react. You want to know what went wrong and who did it. A part of you wants to fight what happened and you are completely focused on the past. You keep thinking this shouldn’t have happened and that causes you much suffering. You can’t find peace because someone has been victimized and someone did something unforgivable.

Instead, realize that over-analyzing the cause of the problem won’t fix it and assigning blame either to yourself or to someone else won’t do any good. Stop resisting what has already happened because you can’t travel back in time and undo it. Look at the situation as it is now and decide what you are going to do about it. The only way to reclaim your personal power is to focus on how you will respond to problems and how you can make things better from this point on.

4.     You tend to seek perfection

You have very high standards and seek perfection. The down side is that you tend to be highly critical and when something is 99% right, you can’t stop thinking about the 1% that is not meeting your expectations. If you are self-critical, you have become your own bully. It is difficult to love and accept yourself if you keep thinking you aren’t enough or you aren’t doing enough. When your criticism is directed to other people or situations, you often feel disappointed and unable to have compassion and feel connected with others.

Instead, decide to make the best out of every situation. If you are on vacation in a nice resort and you find a hair in the shower, don’t let that ruin your entire week! Focus on your family, the sun, the beach, fun activities and everything else you can enjoy while you are there. Appreciate what is enjoyable and don’t focus on what could have been better.

Similarly, instead of being critical of yourself and others, focus on gratitude and appreciation. If you acknowledge what you did right, what others did right, how much love and care were shown, and all the beauty you can see, the way you experience life will transform immediately.

5.     Your mind runs on autopilot

You think your thoughts happen to you instead of realizing that you can give your thoughts direction. You observe what happens in your brain without choosing to be in charge. When something unwanted happens, you form a new belief that will limit what will become possible for you in the future. You keep replaying old stories in your mind. You let what happened to you become your identity and even create excuses for your short comings or unwillingness to take small risks in the future.

Instead, understand that your subconscious mind will only be running the show if you let it. You can choose to make decisions consciously and disrupt old ways of thinking. At any moment in time you can set an intention for what you want to create, choose what to pay attention to, and decide what to focus on. Gratitude, appreciation, kindness, hope, and trust are always available to you. Choose wisely.

Breaking old habits and developing new thinking patterns may seem difficult but it isn’t when your inner transformation is facilitated by a qualified coach. If you would like to experience more enjoyable emotions every day, simply click here to make an appointment to speak with me. I would love to share with you strategies and techniques to drop old patterns and create new empowering habits. You deserve a happier life!

Much love to you!

About the author: Since 2010 Dr. Audrey Reille has empowered thousands of professionals through one-on-one coaching, group coaching, speaking engagements, online courses, and interviews on international telesummits.  Audrey is the go-to coach for leaders in higher education administration. She empowers them to thrive by reducing stress, optimizing strategies, improving professional relationships, and developing a strong and empowered mindset. For more information and free resources visit ThrivingInAdmin.com